Make Peace with Your Past and Move Forward

by Rochelle Melander

Do you ever wish you could travel back in time, and give your younger self a gentle nudge or a kick in the pants?

After her mother died suddenly, Ellyn Spragin longed to know how her mother had felt during significant moments or handled difficult situations. Spragin sought answers from women she admired, like Maya Angelou. She collected these letters in the book, What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self. Here’s what a few of the women had to say:

“Learn to say no.” -Heather Mills McCartney

“Try more things. Cross more lines.” –Breena Clarke

“It’s time to be bold about who you really are.” -Ann Curry

Review

Review the year past. Record your successes and missteps. Did you accomplish something that surprised you? Did one of your successes bring you more joy than you expected it to? Is there anything you regret? Something you wish you’d done (or done sooner)? What did you spend too much time worrying about or crying over?

Reflect

What do you wish you’d known at the beginning of 2025? If your younger self possessed the wisdom you’ve gained over the past year, what would you have done differently? Are there tasks you’ll stop doing? Are there habits or projects you want to take on?

Forgive

Let yourself off the hook for past mistakes or missteps.

+Start by offering yourself compassion: Dear one, I understand. You did the best you could.

+Then forgive yourself: I forgive you for ____.

+Let go: I let go of hoping to have a different past. I promise to not beat up on myself for past mistakes or missteps.

+Repeat as needed.

Celebrate

As a coach, I am constantly reminding my clients about the successes they downplay or ignore. I encourage my clients to celebrate each and every win. And I want you to do the same thing. Sometime this week, find a way to celebrate what went well this year. And remember, no accomplishment is too small!