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How to Make Peace with Your Past and Move Forward by Rochelle Melander

December 8, 2015


Note From Rochelle


Dear Writers,

Greetings! I’ve just survived another crazy holiday weekend, where I was busy from dawn until long past dusk without accomplishing any of my own decorating or baking, let alone writing. I’d hoped to have my annual book recommendation article ready for you today, but I haven’t had time to write it. I’m racing against the clock, trying to finish a book and the new website. I haven’t had a second to reflect or write. And it shows: I’m cranky.

How about you? How are you doing with the demands of the season? Are you taking time to write?

This is a good time of year to reflect and plan. The additional hours of darkness make it easier to get home earlier and reflect on our lives. Today’s tip will help you do just that.

Happy Writing!

Rochelle, the Write Now! Coach


Do you ever wish you could travel back in time, and give your younger self a gentle nudge or a kick in the pants?

After her mother died suddenly, Ellyn Spragin longed to know how her mother had felt during significant moments or handled difficult situations. Spragin sought answers from women she admired, like Maya Angelou. She collected these letters in the book, What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self. Here’s what a few of the women had to say:

“Don’t let anybody raise you. You’ve been raised.” –Maya Angelou

“Please yourself first…everything else follows.” –Macy Gray

“Try more things. Cross more lines.” –Breena Clarke

Your turn: What do you wish you’d known at the beginning of 2015? If your younger self possessed the wisdom you’ve gained over the past year, what would you have done differently?

Review. Review the year past. Record your successes and missteps. Did you accomplish something that surprised you? Did one of your successes bring you more joy than you expected it to? Is there anything you regret? Something you wish you’d done (or done sooner)? What did you spend too much time worrying about or crying over?

Write. Once you’ve completed your list, write your younger self a letter. What advice or encouragement would you give to yourself?

If your younger self possessed the wisdom you’ve gained over the past year

Forgive. Let yourself off the hook for past mistakes or missteps.

+Start by offering yourself compassion: Dear one, I understand. You did the best you could. 

+Then forgive yourself: I forgive you for ____. 

+Let go: I let go of hoping to have a different past. I promise to not beat up on myself for past mistakes or missteps.

+Repeat as needed.

Celebrate. As a coach, I am constantly reminding my clients about the successes they downplay or ignore. I encourage my clients to celebrate each and every win. And I want you to do the same thing. Sometime this week, find a way to celebrate what went well this year. And remember, no accomplishment is too small to celebrate!



If you need some inspiration for your task, check out this video made by the CBC program, Wire Tap: How to Age Gracefully

If you need some help, don’t forget my end-of-the-year coaching special. From now through the end of December, purchase a single 45-minute session for just $75. Purchase five sessions and get the sixth one free!

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