Collecting Nos: How to Bounce Back from Rejection

by Rochelle Melander

“I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.” –Oprah Winfrey

At the very first writing conference I attended, I listened to a speaker repeatedly shout, “No!”

He told us to get used to it: Working writers get rejected. A lot.

I used to think that didn’t apply to me. I’d be special. People would say yes to my writing.

And they did.

Sometimes.

But I also get many, many nos. And phrased in such creative ways:

Not right for our list.

Not right for me.

Just like another book we bought.

Too long. Too short.

Too much happening.

Slight.

Quiet.

Sorry we don’t have better news.

And the most difficult one of all: Almost but not quite right for me.

The Truth about Rejection

Every writer will get rejected repeatedly. If you’re not getting rejected, it’s because you’re not submitting.

It can be tempting to make the rejection bigger than it is, believing that your work will never get accepted.

Stop that!

Get clear: Understand that this rejection is about this piece, this particular agent, this publication.

It doesn’t mean you’re not a good writer.

When I was dating, I learned that I couldn’t make someone like me. It didn’t matter that I thought we would be perfect together. Or that on paper we worked. If the feeling wasn’t mutual, it wasn’t happening.

That’s a good metaphor for writing and rejection. If the feeling is not mutual, it’s not going to happen, no matter how much you want it to work out. So, you can believe your piece is perfect for this agent or this publication, but if they don’t see it—it doesn’t matter.

Remember, writers: rejection is not the end of the story. It’s a part of the process. Or, to make it more fun: It’s a plot twist.

How to Bounce Back

Take a deep breath, get a big cup of inspiration, and then pull up your sleeves and get back to work.

Take a second or third or fiftieth look at your story. What can you do to make it better? If there was any information in the rejection, consider it. Ask for help. Revise and revise and revise until you know it’s working.

Then submit again. Keep writing new pieces. Submit them.

Resilience is built on persistence. And the writers who keep trying win the game.